I feel like I just took a deep breath and lost three weeks.
Time feels like it's slipping away. I always seem to be doing something, and yet, and yet...
I'm doing the same things over and over again. Cleaning, shopping, working, pets, lunch boxes, school run, homework, bills, gardening. It's ok. It needs to be done. It's just a little; dare it say it; dull. And I can see that Paul feels the same way. My darling man who rallies against timetables, planning and routine has been drawn into this too.
Last week a large tree decided to lie down in our back garden (see photo above). It eased its way gently down onto the lawn; a dead tree enveloped with vines. And it was the most exciting thing I felt had happened in a while. The girls and I watched it come down; we'd just rescued the guinea pigs. The next day multiple family members who had dropped in for a cuppa found themselves attacking it with axes and chainsaws; turning it into firewood. It was FUN.
What I really want is a big long break. Or a change. Just something a bit different, a bit inspiring. I want to pick my little family up and jump head-first into something new. Just for a little bit. And it's frustrating me that I can't seem to work that into my mid-term future. What seemed so fluid three years back, when we disappeared to Bruny Island for six months, seems so achingly and annoyingly elusive now. The pressures of work, schooling, finances and responsibility just seem some days to be caving in on me.
I've got itchy feet. And no way to scratch them.
Got any good ideas? Any way to take off and escape the rat race?